Readjusting Your Internal Clock

This morning I woke up to the rain hitting the roof outside my window. Life promised to this desert land called the panhandle. However I was uncomfortably an hour early for my arrival back to conscientiousness. I turned on the tv to a movie I wanted to continue watching from last night. The credits rolled to Singing In The Rain one of my favorite songs. I chose to let it be what I lived by today. "Come on with the rain there's a smile on my face." Then I realized it was cold, my hair didn't dry as awesome as I wanted it to, and that movie literally had 30 seconds left until it was over. I switched the channel to VH1. Jennifer Hudson's beautiful voice flooded my room. However she was singing a phrase that would absolutely kill Mrs. Reed. Where You At? How can you combine such a magnificent talent with the phrase Where You At? Really?! I walked to class quickly wanting to avoid the cold as much as possible. I can walk. My hands are almost frozen and I type. I'm on a huge mac! Through out my life thus far I have realized that choice and regret are the major topics I dwell on in my life. Today's deals with the wonderful power of choice. This morning I woke angry but I have been given another day. I was encouraged by the power of song! Who can be angry about that? Life is composed of choices. A choice to take things personally. Happiness. Today I let situations that have happened over the past few days bog me down. All of the sudden I feel very alone. I fight my need to talk to someone. My self esteem shines. I'm not alone. I have the best family in the world! I am super blessed with friends! I have to never ending love of a merciful God. I have a choice to smile. I have no reason not to. I have been provided with all I need. Choice. Given. Make the most of it. Just be happy.



This is my most favorite quote from the book called Taming the Beast. Throughout this girl's life she gives all she has to the thing she wants and loves most, both her emotions and most influential her future. Yet throughout all of her troubles she realizes that no matter what happened in your life, it's your life. Whether you lived it or not it's yours, there you can find all you have ever needed.

"But then life was a constant withering of possibilities. some are stolen with the lives of the people you know. Other's are let go with regret and reluctance and deep, deep sorrow. But there is compensation for lives unlived in the intoxicating joy of knowing-right here, right now- is the one you have chosen. There is power in that, and hope."

I have been so excited for my trip this summer to Honduras and the many things happening with Red Thread. I have such big dreams to reach out to those who are in countries with limited resources, most specifically third world countries. I was listening to one of my friends attempt to sell a Red Thread bracelet to one of the guys in our history class. He raised questions about how did he know that the money went to what we were saying it went to and basically just making me very angry. He also asked why should we focus on other countries when the same thing is happening here in the US. Frequently I have dismissed this subject. Tonight I was at a bible study and we spoke about Epaphras. A man that is only spoken about 3 times in the bible. How insignificant right? Lets just focus on Jesus he gets more spotlight! Epaphras had a vision and made a huge difference where he lived. Honestly I need to go back and restudy what we studied last night but this is the main point I want to focus on. My desires to go abroad are merely described, or I merely describe them, as a chance to help people that are less fortunate than me. Am I not also called to be like the good samaritan? When someone is in need, when the person that lives within 10 feet of me avoids anything to do with the church, when a coworker struggles because I simply adopt views of her based on others? How can I successfully help others abroad when I can't even get it right on my own turf?! um... now to another point or "futherance" of the main one!

Tonight I listened to stories from Beach Reach and hear about the stories and excitement of the rededication or dedication of lives to God. As a guy told his story his excitement could not be contained. What if we were as concerned with our friends and our neighbors as we are about these people that we reach out to that we don't even know? With me I am so caught up in being known as accepting and not judgmental. My determination to be so accepting prevents me from pointing out the true flaws in the situation and ultimately share the awesome grace of our Father. Though this unfortuanely is not the only factor in my lack of witnessing. Thinking about this I wonder why I am not focused on my friends and those close to me as much as I am on those from other countries that I don't even know. Not that they should be more important but just as important. Why have I not focused on them as much as I need to, as much as I care about them, as much as I love them. We are not safe. I am not safe. Unfortanately we cannot bring whichever friends into heaven we want with us. It was also commented tonight that Epapherus ultimately loved people so much that the amount of ridicule or humilation that he endured did not hinder his persistance.

Don't forget those closest to you and don't forget those in the distance. Ultimately strive to ensure true life to all those you encounter. Have a vision and make a difference. I can be Epapherus.